You may believe that your personality is yours alone. But the truth is, the traits that make up you are an amalgam of everything you’ve ever heard, learned, witnessed and endured from your parents or stepparents—the good stuff…and the flaws.

“Oh, great,” you may think. “Another thing to blame my mother for.” But this isn’t about blaming. It’s about using what you know about your parents to find out more about yourself. Because the only way to avoid reliving your parents’ stuff over and over and be the person you want to be is to understand your personality.

You may think you’re nothing like your neurotic, rigid, flaky, fill-in-the-blank-here parents. But there is no getting around your having their issues—you just have your own version of those issues.

So instead of rehashing your parents’ flaws, you’re going to compare them to what you do—and evolve yourself.

This assignment will help you know yourself better:

1)    Make a list of your parents’ positive traits.

2)    Make a list of their negative traits.

3)    For each and every negative trait, explain how this trait plays out in you. (Truly, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.)

For instance, my mom would rather be with her two English bulldogs than her kids or grandchildren. My issue is that I'll pick work over playing with my daughter. That sucks!

The bottom line: Once you understand your lineage, you can be accountable for your personality, for who you are. And once you’re accountable, you can evolve for the better. To find out how to do that, be sure to listen to my show HERE.